Bit of a personal joke, of course. I’m fat, I know it, and in the past couple of months, I’ve been tackling that issue in earnest.
In February, I joined a support group paid for by my insurance through work that’s been helping me. In March, I started going to the gym. April saw the return of better weather, so I’m trying to get five miles of cycling a day in at least a couple times a week.
I also picked up a Fitbit in February, to try to keep myself more accountable with regard to my exercise and food intake, and it actually kind of opened my eyes to what I was doing, once I started logging every little bite I took, and refusing food that I couldn’t figure out how to log. Here I was, thinking I was eating relatively okay, and finding out that even without calorie laden sodas, I was sucking in 3600+ calories in a given day, and wasn’t even walking or exercising all that much.
It’s absolutely mind-blowing when you find the truth behind the fork (or the sandwich in the box). This is what I learned on day 1, when I started logging my calories in Fitbit, and needing to know what was in what before I bought it. That day alone, I cut my caloric intake sharply.
The gym membership in March came with me wanting to earn the HSA money that work offers for completing certain goals, and I wasn’t getting there fast enough.
Knowing that getting healthier is being incentivised monetarily is, honestly, my biggest motivator. I like knowing that I can get nearly $200 toward my healthcare expenses every quarter, and being able to hit that goal is pretty nice. And yes, I did hit the first quarter goal through real effort, and have knocked off ten pounds that haven’t come back on rebound.
The support group I started in, I wasn’t interested in it at first, because I thought it was hokey, cheesy crap that was probably going to fat-shame me after two weeks. But, after being there for a few sessions, I’m happy to say I’m wrong about that thought. I still fat-shame myself from time to time, but then I think back to what I told my fitness coach at Anytime Fitness when she asked me about why I joined:
I remember this, and I make myself go. I make myself do. I make myself be.
Losing weight by yourself is anything but easy. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. But, losing weight is not something that has to be a lonely battle, fought behind house doors with loneliness, desperation, and a knife and fork in hands.
I’m guilty of stress eating, of poor dietary choices, of being very sedentary and I guess today, I’m calling myself out on it right on my own blog that isn’t read by anyone. But it’s at least out there on the wires, where maybe someone will come by, and keep me accountable in addition to the support group. Or maybe someone will read this, and think to themselves that this was that last push they needed to get off the couch and go, do, be.
I’m Jayel, and this is my weight loss journey. As of this morning, 20 April 2019, I was at 282.8 lbs (128.28 kg), down from 295 lbs (133.8 kg) when I started this.
I’m using step goals to work on this. I started with 10 pounds as my target. As I hit the target, next target’s a little farther out at 12 pounds. I’m aiming for reasonable amounts of weight loss per week (a pound), and so far, so good, minus the upswing during birthday week at the top of the month.
To do: buy greens to dehydrate for smoothies.